A Titan Type of Teenager
by BlueBerryBoo
Summary: The Teen Titans are heroes, martyrs, role models, and celebrities. But despite that, they also are teenagers, and teenagers will be teenagers. Because that's just what silly, absurd, strange and obnoxious teenagers do. Be teenagers.
1. Chapter 1- A Titan Type of Teenager

It was one of those nights where no one was particularly paying attention to Beastboy. But he didn't mind. Really, he didn't. Because you see, when no one paid attention to him, no one could forbid him from obtaining the strongest drink in the tower; the restricted Coca Cola. Okay so it wasn't _that_ strong of a drink, but an exuberant teen plus a stimulating energy drink at this late hour would lose sleep for him and consequently, the whole tower.  
But he got his hands on it, that sly snake (mind you, he really did turn into a snake to reach it) and once he did, he chugged down about six cans. Oh how he had been deprived of this glorious drink - that poor soul. When he'd returned to the living room, he had a convicted look upon his face, still seeing that no one was minding him; Cyborg was teaching the abundantly curious Starfire how to play Mega Monkeys 4 while Raven was telling Robin about her current book (proving Robin to be a bold lad indeed.) Beastboy burped an echoing belch that halted all of that the Titans were doing for a moment, but afterwards resumed. All except one. ''I know that burp.'' Beastboy hears from beside him. Raven was on his case.  
''Whaddya mean, Rae?'' He has his arm behind his head, scratching his neck nervously, with a guilty smile on his lips.  
She glares at him for a long time.  
''Why don't you just slap me across the face? '' Beastboy sighs.  
''Why don't you just write ''I'm an idiot'' on my forehead.'' Raven replies.  
Yes, Raven knew there would be no sleeping titans, not tonight.

Later that night, Beastboy learned something. Staying up till two in the morning was no fun when everyone was asleep. It was a surprise they did manage to sleep, but by now each had their own techniques to block BB out. Only Starfire had made the dreadful mistake of forgetting to close her room door. Deviously, Beastboy morphed into a chicken, plucked one of his feathers, morphed back to human and tickled the feather under Starfire's nose. You'd think he would remember what happens when Starfire sneezed. A supernatural sneeze exploded from the Tamaranian, enough to shake the whole strong-structured tower.

First came running Robin and Cyborg, ''What happened!?'' Robing yelled in a daze (which brought up the question- does Robin sleep with his mask or something?) Now all the sudden events even scared Beastboy himself, causing him to morph into a chicken. Starfire coming in contact with another one of Beastboy's feathers triggered another booming sneeze. It was then Raven walked in, quite crabby (but who could blame her) threatening from her teeth, ''Would you _**keep it down**_?!''  
With that trademark guilty look on his face, he poorly tried to lighten the mood…  
''You…uh…n-need a better hiding place….heh…''  
A moment of silence from all the titans was difficult to determine of just what kind of silence it was and what they would do next. Then Starfire started giggling. Cyborg started chuckling. Robin started smirking and Raven rolled her eyes. Soon all of them were laughing hysterically- like they were the ones who drank six cans of Cola.  
Strangely enough none of them could sleep after that, but rather they all sat in the hallway talking and laughing about the strangest things- how Raven could instantly tell that Beastboy drank so much cola, how Starfire's sneeze could function as an alarm if they ever needed it, or if they ever needed to wake up Beastboy before noon. They laughed about what would happen if they had neighbours, how the teens would drive them into complete madness, and how they'd have more psychopaths running around the city, as if Mad Mod and all the other criminals weren't bad enough. All of the silliest things anyone could ever find funny. None of them could ever remember a time when they were so carefree, like they always saw all the other teenagers around them act, their whole lives. When they'd become teens themselves, they still could never get what was _so funny_, why they were always laughing. They were never aware that teenagers just laugh at the most absurd things. It felt really good, they felt _normal_ for once, for the first time, they felt like ordinary, loud and obnoxious teenagers. It was approaching three in the morning but they didn't want this night to end. So Beastboy suggested something crazy. Not really crazy, but more so stupid; a swim on the rooftop pool in the middle of the night. What was even more stupid was the fact that the Titans actually went along with it! Yes, it took Raven longest to agree, but that was expected. The Titans all sprinted to the roof. Beastboy and Robin were the only ones who had swimming trousers, while Raven took off her robe and Star, her metal accessories, as well as her knee-high boots. Despite his technological structure, Cyborg _was _in fact waterproof. As soon as Robin switched off the convertible cover for the pool, the teenagers stared at the pool, nervously.  
'' It's probably really cold…'' says Robin hesitantly.  
''Then perhaps you may confirm for us Robin?'' Starfire says innocently, then unexpectedly pushes him into the pool, may I add, not so innocently.  
Robin gave off a yell as he fell in, then resurfaced, flipping his hair out of his eyes and face.  
The Titans laugh their heads off, clutching their stomachs and slapping their knees, as well as giving Starfire a series of high fives.  
Robin chuckled, shaking his head, ''Yeah… alright, you win that time, Star.'' He smiled. He really, really, smiled. It was a foreign feature on his face.  
''I am terribly sorry, Robin.'' On the contrary, she giggled, not being able to keep her serious composure.  
Robin swam closer to the edge of the pool, where Starfire stood and reached up his hand, a gesture that supposedly meant he was asking for help out of the pool. You'd think she wouldn't have fell for it. As Raven once said " _Aliens…"_  
She shrieked when he pulled her into the water, and shrieked louder when she was aware of the freezing temperature of the water. Robin subtly pulled her closer to him, both of them ignoring the fact that she was a Tamaranian, and wasn't actually cold. Cyborg also decided to take matters into his own hands. Quite literally, actually. He picked up the unsuspecting Raven bridal style, sprinted, and jumped into the pool, Raven and all. It was pretty clever of him, actually, except when he realized the magnitude of waves an empath can make- especially when she's angry.  
''Don't worry!'' Beastboy announced on the diving board (when did he get up there?) ''I'll help myself!'' Following his declaration, he ran on the board, jumped, and shape shifted into a dolphin, headed snout first into the water. When he surfaced, his hooting joined that of the other Titans, along with the laughter and the raging accusations that were in the air.

At one point, Robin took Star to sit on his shoulders, and Beastboy took Raven on his, initiating a battle of both parties. Starfire and Raven wrestled at the top, and Beastboy and Robin, still somehow supporting their partners, found some way to bring the battle to the lower members as well. Cyborg's commentary was like that of sports anchors, accent and all. Unfortunately, after so long of sparring, and not even being able to focus on the battle at hand from all the laughing, Beastboy had slipped on the slippery pool floor, falling face forward, but before emerging completely underwater, grabbing Robin's wrists too. Consequently both parties toppled, and clashed into each other. ''AND AS A TURN OF EVENTS, FOLKS, WE HAVE NOT ONE LOSER TEAM, BUT TWO! SO REMEMBER FELLAS, YOU'RE ALL LOSERS, DON'T FORGET IT Y'ALL!'' Cyborg concludes. Beastboy then climbed onto Cyborg's shoulders, then Robin onto Beastboy's, and Starfire onto Robin's.  
''Look guys! It's a Titans Tower!'' joked Beastboy,  
''Wait,'' adds thoughtful Raven, climbing over the assembled Titans, then having Starfire hold her horizontally, making the overall shape, a T.  
Cleverly she adds, ''Now it _is _Titans Tower.'' And smiles.

At around 5:50 a.m. the dripping, shivering and toweled Titans make water trails and footprints all over the tower that lead to their rooms.  
When Starfire sneezes from the chill, everyone laughs all over again.

Because that's just what teenagers do.


	2. Chapter 2- Learn your lesson

"Robin! I demand that you stop this audacity at once!" the valiant Tamaranian yelled, on dangerous grounds; in between the punching bag and the Robin.  
You see, reader, like water is blue and grass is green, a stressed Robin is a dangerous Robin.  
Frankly, the other teenagers just didn't possess the patience, others, the attention span, to further deter this spikey and hard headed hooligan from continuing his endless hours of extraneous training and killing himself in the process.

But she continues to pursue her objective.  
Her eyebrows are furrowed, an indication, and a warning that her schedule is completely and utterly cleared.  
"Star.  
If. You. Don't. Move. I. Will. Punch. You. In. The. Face." The words barely made it through his teeth.  
One of her eyebrows rose, and then returned to its original spot on her forehead. She crossed her arms, a cocky smirk on her face.  
_ She was stinkin' __**testing him**_**.**  
He threw his hands up in the air with a loud and aggressive groan.  
"You know, that's cool, I needed to move on to the treadmill anyway." He bluffed, hoping she'd leave.  
He eyed her bitterly; with enough rage to transmit all the way to Raven's room and unleash the demon inside her.

She still stood in front of the punching bag, and he still stood in front of her.  
Her smile grew bigger, completely inappropriate and irrelevant to his predicament.  
_What the heck._  
"Do carry on, Robin. I remember I also have business awaiting me, I shall leave you to continue your… affairs."  
_Finally._  
He knew she'd get tired of it eventually.  
She made her way to the door, allowing him to resume his abuse on the poor bag.  
"… I wish not to be late for my Portuguese lessons."

_That was an obnoxious waste of time._ He thought to himself.  
Star was the biggest headache out of the others. It wasn't something he often admitted, but it was true. He allowed that to fuel him for the next couple of punches.  
And when the heck did she start taking _Portuguese_ lessons anyway?  
_  
….Oh for the love of Gotham city._

In total, it only took him 13 seconds to recall her previous experience of _Japanese_ lessons in Tokyo.  
And once he did, he dashed out of the gym to _kindly_ provide his _own_ services of English lessons…_  
_

Author's note:  
Haha, notice how Starfire chooses her words very carefully….she would leave him to his _affairs_…  
Oh,  
that Star.

By the way, Robin only offers private lessons.


	3. Chapter 3- The Adolescent Male

The clerk kid at the cash register, no older than sixteen, became slightly tense at the entering of our favourite spiked-haired Boy Wonder. The dark haired, pale boy at the front of the shop couldn't help but think, '_Boy… Wonder how it's like to wear something so tight…' _ Robin admit to himself that he actually did like these claustrophobic small, punk styled shop types, even though he practically luminesced in his leotard of traffic-light red, green and yellow, in contrast to the surrounding colour tones that were either off-blood red or vampire black. This was where he often got his CDs, and where Beastboy got his comics. He also could've sworn it was where Raven got pretty much everything she owned with the exception of shampoo and undergarments. Oh nope, never mind, they had those too. There was really a whole bunch of different stuff from figurines to books to clothes. He picked up a figurine of Batman and examined the detail; as if he didn't already have twelve, (still in packaging, perfect condition only 29.99 each, plus tax. Each sold separately.)

Then he saw it on the far side of the room. It wasn't like he didn't know that guys his age had posters of underdressed girls in their rooms. And it wasn't like he didn't know that Starfire was a particularly attractive adolescent. And it definitely wasn't like he overreacted, after all, it could've easily went worse, what with his years in training in the arts of Kung Fu, experience fighting alongside Batman, even alongside Slade… but he wasn't the type of guy to lose his cool. So when he passed by it, he calmly and simply took it off the stand, crumpled it and tossed it in the trash. Calmly. Along with the 20 other roles that were rolled up underneath. I said calmly, right? He mentally sighed. Next time the Titans decided to go to the beach, he'd make sure that they went to some deserted island in the remote regions of the globe, away from any cameras. Or from peeping teenage boys. Just to be safe, away from any vague civilization of any sort at all. She was _his_. It was an unquestionable fact that was just somehow understood. Even the senior citizens of Jump city were aware. He was a teenage boy himself, so could he blame boys for being boys?  
The answer is yes. Yes he could. But he wasn't going to react. Because it was _hella_ more scary that way.

Robin picked up his My Chemical Romance CD and headed to the front desk to pay. At the desk, the once pale boy was now blood-red, hoping he'd blend in with everything else in the room. It was now apparent to both parties why he'd been tense from the beginning. The Boy Wonder had an unbelievably expressionless face, with unapproachable calmness. The boy working the cashier trembled and fidgeted nervously, with slightly wider eyes than considered normal, as Robin made his way to the desk. He was so right. Nothing made you want to piss your pants more than Robin being unwaveringly stoic. The shop was chokingly awkward and silent. Wishing with all his dear heart and soul to disappear, one could easily feel pity for the chum; after all, he just worked there, he didn't come up with the merchandise. Needed the money for college, to get himself a good job, buy a car, get the girls, keep the food on the table… as Robin neared the table, all the ambitions and hopes he ever had for life rushed through his head then vanished like a burnt out flame. He jolted at the sudden pelt on the table as the CD was lazily tossed on the table. Eyes glued to the table, fretted and afraid to look up at the buyer, he quickly calculated the change.  
_Twenty-five, thirty, th-thirty-five, oh man, oh man, oh man, fifty-six, thirty-five. I mean it was just a picture of his girlfriend. No biggy. In a two-piece. No biggy. Looking like… No biggy. Thirty seven, thirty eight, stupid pennies._  
"Good Band, eh. I heard they broke up. It's a bummer." Robin said making conversation.  
The boy froze at the comment in bewilderment and incomprehension. With a stupendous nod and nervous "uh-huh"  
he quickly returned to work.  
Robin had the slyest smile one will ever see in their lifetime.  
_He's going to just slice my head off. I know it. He's just being nice because he knows what he's going to do to me. He's fattening me up me up like a turkey the day before thanksgiving. Awh man, that's totally it._ Curses rang loud and continually in his head. This must've been, or felt like it'd been, the longest time he'd ever taken to count change. _Twenty-five, th-thirty, thirty-five, wait was that a quarter? Wait, hold up, start over. GAAARRRHH. _Finally he just gave him whatever change, rounded up, so that he'd just stinkin' **leave** already.  
"Well, best buy their last album, I guess." Robin tossed the suggestion out there, before picking up the change and making his way out the door.  
Once he was gone, the dumbstruck teen then released a whoosh of relief and collapsed in his chair.  
Well that could've easily went worse.  
The boy bored propped his elbow on the desk and rested his face on his palm. He looked at the trash. The shop couldn't sell the posters anymore, but… _What a waste…_ he thought. He got up from his chair and made his way around the desk.  
Suddenly, upon passing his desk, he tripped on some sort of wire that'd been attached to one side of the desk and something else on the far right. He didn't have time to identify what it was because he found himself abruptly being violently pulled up by some sort of booby-trap mechanism. By the time he had time to register what had just passed, he found himself hanging upside down from the ceiling by the ankle. He looked up at his foot that was wrapped and hung by a bird-a-rang.  
_Still. _he thought_, that could've easily went worse._


	4. Chapter 4- The Portal

She was the portal.  
The portal to which the unthinkable could happen.

She held the key.  
The key to freedom as to destruction.

She had the power within.  
To determine the fate of the Teen Titans.

Her name

was Starfire.

Oh-h I'm sorry dear reader, did I mislead you to presume I was talking about Raven? My apologies, you see vigilant Teen Titan fan, if you recall, Raven had already retired her job as the portal when she delivered her evil demon-father into the world. Oh you remember- on her birthday when her friends threw her a party with some cakes and balloons, and she couldn't enjoy it because her dad trigon, a scary red demon with horns took over the world and there was fire everywhere but her friends saved her and they all had cake?

At the present time, Starfire was the portal,  
to their hard-headed, stubborn, uptight, no-fun, no-nonsense, no-moPed Beastboy you can fly, leader.  
I mean, who could get to Robin better than Starfire could?  
I know, I know, it seems a bit manipulative. But the Titans preferred to analyze the situation and use it to their advantage. That was a strategy Robin had taught them once before, hadn't he?

Now let's check up on Starfire's progress.

At least 6 km away from Titans Tower, at the City's Baseball Stadium are your modern star-crossed lovers. They lay on the green centre-field's recently cut grass, the air fresh, the moon out, and the world still, with the exception of their unison breathing. They lay abreast, eyes closed, quiet but content.  
Well isn't that sweet.  
But Robin isn't an idiot _all_ the time, so he sighs.  
"Do you have it?" he asks quietly.  
Just as quietly she reaches in her boot and takes out a comprehensive list written on a piece of paper.

She takes a deep breath that is much needed to read out the list. "Cyborg wishes for a new gaming system, laptop, desktop, renovated room and bathroom to allow for the sauna and Jacuzzi to fit, oh yes, he wishes for a sauna and Jacuzzi, radio and entertainment system for while in the sauna, radio and entertainment system for while in the Jacuzzi, a security system to protect the sauna and Jacuzzi and entertainment system from a certain 'stain of grass' – "  
Starfire exhales then proceeds to take a deep breath to resume  
"… where was I, oh yes – to keep away from a certain 'stain of grass' whom also wishes for a mo-ped, less extensive training sessions, more meat rules and regulations in the tower, for example… no green food colouring on Cyborg's stakes for the specific purpose of bothering Beastboy? He also wishes for a designated spot in the garage for his mo-ped, preferably beside the garage door, as well as more pizza outings and less Tamaranian centric mea –"  
She furrowed her brows together. "Hmphh!"  
Robin laughed and kissed her forehead.  
She still had a duty for her team (no matter how closed minded in cultural cuisine they were) so she continued;  
"he also wishes for the complete comic series of _The Adventures of the Gulfad,_ more closet space, more room space and more hallway space…although he's failed to mention the purpose." She cocked her head at the list.  
"I'm very okay with that." Robin added. "And Raven? Don't tell me she doesn't want anything."  
Star smiled looking into Robin's mask. "She simply wanted us out of the house."

He chuckled, still in high spirits somehow.  
"So… what do _you_ want?" he asked, turning his head to her, his cheek being pricked by the grass.  
She said nothing, still smiling and oh so subtly inching closer to him, laying her head on his chest. Her eyes were closed, but you could still see the slyness and mischief behind them. I mean, if you were Robin you couldn't, obviously, but it was definitely there.  
"Do they _pay_ you?!" Robin asked baffled  
then wrapping his arms around her.  
I mean it was okay, since Robin isn't an idiot _all_ the time, right.  
Just sometimes. Like this time, for instance.  
And with the flutter of her eyelashes, he fell into the trap, once again.

They really should pay her though.


End file.
